Freud famously asked, “What do women want?”
He never really answered that question to his satisfaction, and toward the end of his life, he described his theories about women as “fragmentary and incomplete,” and left it to younger female analysts to expand on his ideas about women.
How do you feel about Freud? Do you agree with feminists in seeing him as a male chauvinist? It is true that Freud’s theories about women were a product of the sexist Victorian culture in which he grew up. He described women as “little men,” as “organless.” He believed that women suffered from an envy of the penis that left them passive, masochistic and narcissistic. He thought this penis envy drove female development, and beyond that, he had little to say about the female mind. Should we give up on Freud as hopelessly old-fashioned and Vistorian? Or can we use Freud’s theories as a starting point to expand his ideas about women?
Seventy-five years after Freud invited younger female analysts to deepen our understanding about women, I responded to his challenge.
I knew that explaining women as “castrated” was overly simplistic, but also believed that most of Freud’s theories, particularly his theory about the unconscious, were very helpful in my work of trying to understand female human beings. After studying women for almost ten years, I introduced my first book, The Internal Triangle. Using Freud’s theories about the unconscious and penis envy as a springboard, I offered new and expanded theories about women and their emotional development. These ideas present a much richer picture of the female mind.
After studying women---particularly pregnant women---I found that they have a very lively internal fantasy world. The female mind is full of ghosts. Many women’s own parents are very active in their minds, and often, on a fantasy level, a woman’s sense of herself is somewhat oppressed by the mother and father within her own mind.
I called this very common mental situation the "internal triangle".
Women’s tendency to internalize their mother and father has some positive consequences: Because women are able to see things not only from their own perspective, but also through the eyes of the mother and father within, they can display tremendous empathy for and intuition about other people. The internal triangle also enables women to sacrifice themselves for others, which is what enables them to mother and to marry.
But if the triangle of mother, father and self is too oppressive, with the internal mother and father controlling and subjugating a woman, she can demonstrate some of the negative qualities we associate with femininity: passivity, masochism and narcissism.
Do you know any women that are so bogged down in their impulses to care for and understand others that they hardly know what they themselves think?
The physical crises in female development---the beginning of menstruation, pregnancy and childbirth, and menopause---are dramatic milestones. At each of these milestones, if all goes well, the internal triangle gets reworked. Childbirth in particular can empower a woman in a unique way and free her from the subjection of the mother and father within.
However, many people think of these physical milestones as “illnesses” and try to treat their symptoms with drugs. Have you ever thought of them as opportunities to grow and evolve?
He never really answered that question to his satisfaction, and toward the end of his life, he described his theories about women as “fragmentary and incomplete,” and left it to younger female analysts to expand on his ideas about women.
How do you feel about Freud? Do you agree with feminists in seeing him as a male chauvinist? It is true that Freud’s theories about women were a product of the sexist Victorian culture in which he grew up. He described women as “little men,” as “organless.” He believed that women suffered from an envy of the penis that left them passive, masochistic and narcissistic. He thought this penis envy drove female development, and beyond that, he had little to say about the female mind. Should we give up on Freud as hopelessly old-fashioned and Vistorian? Or can we use Freud’s theories as a starting point to expand his ideas about women?
Seventy-five years after Freud invited younger female analysts to deepen our understanding about women, I responded to his challenge.
I knew that explaining women as “castrated” was overly simplistic, but also believed that most of Freud’s theories, particularly his theory about the unconscious, were very helpful in my work of trying to understand female human beings. After studying women for almost ten years, I introduced my first book, The Internal Triangle. Using Freud’s theories about the unconscious and penis envy as a springboard, I offered new and expanded theories about women and their emotional development. These ideas present a much richer picture of the female mind.
After studying women---particularly pregnant women---I found that they have a very lively internal fantasy world. The female mind is full of ghosts. Many women’s own parents are very active in their minds, and often, on a fantasy level, a woman’s sense of herself is somewhat oppressed by the mother and father within her own mind.
I called this very common mental situation the "internal triangle".
Women’s tendency to internalize their mother and father has some positive consequences: Because women are able to see things not only from their own perspective, but also through the eyes of the mother and father within, they can display tremendous empathy for and intuition about other people. The internal triangle also enables women to sacrifice themselves for others, which is what enables them to mother and to marry.
But if the triangle of mother, father and self is too oppressive, with the internal mother and father controlling and subjugating a woman, she can demonstrate some of the negative qualities we associate with femininity: passivity, masochism and narcissism.
Do you know any women that are so bogged down in their impulses to care for and understand others that they hardly know what they themselves think?
The physical crises in female development---the beginning of menstruation, pregnancy and childbirth, and menopause---are dramatic milestones. At each of these milestones, if all goes well, the internal triangle gets reworked. Childbirth in particular can empower a woman in a unique way and free her from the subjection of the mother and father within.
However, many people think of these physical milestones as “illnesses” and try to treat their symptoms with drugs. Have you ever thought of them as opportunities to grow and evolve?
For more of Dr. Holmes's research into the psychology of women, read her first book, The Internal Triangle.
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