Freud famously said that anatomy is destiny.
Much of Freud’s writing was devoted to the idea that the penis, or the lack of one, shapes the minds of human beings. He associated masculinity with activity and femininity with passivity.
There are good reasons, having to do with the possession of a penis, that men are associated with individuality, active phallic energy, and a strong and rather rigid sense of rights and justice. The lack of a penis in women demands that they have to compensate by creating mental structures which encourage feminine attributes like empathy, intuition, nurturance, and even passive masochism.
Freud thought that part of good mental health was accepting and embracing our anatomical destiny and the sexual roles it demands. But I don’t want to be boxed in, and I don’t want my clients to be limited by their gender identity. When I meet a person who feels trapped and depressed in a rigid masculinity or femininity, I want to help them play with gender roles a little. This means encouraging women to think “like men” and helping men behave “like women”.
What do you think? Am I wrong not to guide people to accept their anatomical destiny? Or would the world be a better place if there were more competitive, ambitious women and empathic, nurturing men?
Much of Freud’s writing was devoted to the idea that the penis, or the lack of one, shapes the minds of human beings. He associated masculinity with activity and femininity with passivity.
There are good reasons, having to do with the possession of a penis, that men are associated with individuality, active phallic energy, and a strong and rather rigid sense of rights and justice. The lack of a penis in women demands that they have to compensate by creating mental structures which encourage feminine attributes like empathy, intuition, nurturance, and even passive masochism.
Freud thought that part of good mental health was accepting and embracing our anatomical destiny and the sexual roles it demands. But I don’t want to be boxed in, and I don’t want my clients to be limited by their gender identity. When I meet a person who feels trapped and depressed in a rigid masculinity or femininity, I want to help them play with gender roles a little. This means encouraging women to think “like men” and helping men behave “like women”.
What do you think? Am I wrong not to guide people to accept their anatomical destiny? Or would the world be a better place if there were more competitive, ambitious women and empathic, nurturing men?
| More of Dr. Holmes's thoughts on Freudian destiny and gender identity can be found in her books, The Internal Triangle and Wrestling with Destiny. | 
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