| Human beings love to repeat situations from the past, even if those situations were very painful indeed. Women who had abusive fathers will choose sadistic men again and again. Men who had cold, narcissistic mothers will be obsessively attracted to frigid women. People who were abused as children are likely to abuse their children. Freud called this very human tendency the repetition compulsion, and he said it is more instinctual and powerful than the pleasure principle. |
The most classic intervention of psychoanalysis—to give the patient an intelligent, well-thought out interpretation of why he does what he does—is depressingly ineffective in resolving a patient's self-destructive repeating. This is because an interpretation speaks to the patient's cerebral cortex, where cognition, logic, reason and ethics reside. But the cerebral cortex is also the smallest part of the human brain—it has practically no influence or control over the more primitive parts of the brain where the repetition compulsion is created.
The repetition compulsion is established in our infantile brains before the cerebral cortex has developed enough that we can remember, or even think. Long before a baby can speak, his brain is very, very busy learning about the way the world works. Neural pathways are being established that will affect how he sees the world for the rest of his life.
The repetition compulsion is established in our infantile brains before the cerebral cortex has developed enough that we can remember, or even think. Long before a baby can speak, his brain is very, very busy learning about the way the world works. Neural pathways are being established that will affect how he sees the world for the rest of his life.
The child won't remember these impressions. He will just experience them as reality; i.e., I must get a dangerous man or a woman who is incapable of love to love me.
Meanwhile, the psychoanalyst’s interpretation and explanation of the patient’s compulsion is almost always experienced as an attack—especially if it is correct. Defenses fly up, and the explanation is rejected.
But modern psychoanalysts have developed techniques that can break the back of the repetition compulsion. They direct their patients to "just say everything," and then they speak only when spoken to while the patient tells his story. This encouragement and acceptance of talking without intruding creates a safe environment where the patient has no need to mobilize his defenses against a brilliant interpretation.
Language resides in the cerebral cortex, and so while the patient is putting everything into words, he is strengthening this most evolved part of the brain—thus giving it increasing control over the primitive parts of the brain where the repetition compulsion resides. When a modern analyst does speak, he doesn't make an intellectual interpretation, but a well-timed emotional communication. So instead of saying, “Your relationship with your boyfriend is just a repetition of your longing to get your abusive father to love you,” a modern analyst might say, “I want you to get rid of that guy and find a kind, loving man who thinks everything you do is wonderful!”
This kind of intervention, delivered after trust has been established in the analytic relationship, is laced with powerful feeling, and so it speaks to the deeper parts of the brain where feelings are generated. It deactivates the neural pathways that created the repetition compulsion, and activates new neural pathways which will allow the patient to make better choices in his life.
The repetition compulsion may be remarkably immune to reason and insight, but emotional communication has the power to rewire the brain.
Meanwhile, the psychoanalyst’s interpretation and explanation of the patient’s compulsion is almost always experienced as an attack—especially if it is correct. Defenses fly up, and the explanation is rejected.
But modern psychoanalysts have developed techniques that can break the back of the repetition compulsion. They direct their patients to "just say everything," and then they speak only when spoken to while the patient tells his story. This encouragement and acceptance of talking without intruding creates a safe environment where the patient has no need to mobilize his defenses against a brilliant interpretation.
Language resides in the cerebral cortex, and so while the patient is putting everything into words, he is strengthening this most evolved part of the brain—thus giving it increasing control over the primitive parts of the brain where the repetition compulsion resides. When a modern analyst does speak, he doesn't make an intellectual interpretation, but a well-timed emotional communication. So instead of saying, “Your relationship with your boyfriend is just a repetition of your longing to get your abusive father to love you,” a modern analyst might say, “I want you to get rid of that guy and find a kind, loving man who thinks everything you do is wonderful!”
This kind of intervention, delivered after trust has been established in the analytic relationship, is laced with powerful feeling, and so it speaks to the deeper parts of the brain where feelings are generated. It deactivates the neural pathways that created the repetition compulsion, and activates new neural pathways which will allow the patient to make better choices in his life.
The repetition compulsion may be remarkably immune to reason and insight, but emotional communication has the power to rewire the brain.
To learn more about the repetition compulsion,
read Dr. Holmes's latest book, Wrestling With Destiny,
and watch her presentation at the 2013 CMPS Annual Conference:
"The Role of Free Association in Resolving Repetitions."
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